I have been asked to write about a few topics and if I’m totally honest, these are probably my favourite subjects to write about because these are the areas I have struggled with the most. And I believe that the best way to learn about yourself is when you go through certain experiences that stretch you and cause you to re-evaluate yourself. You know, self-reflection is amazing, I started to realise this as I hit the tender age of 20 (some may say that is kinda late lol) and each year up until now, my understanding of self-reflection and why I need it so much has increased.
SO.. for those that don’t know me, the name’s Nicolle-Marie, and from time to time I blog and believe that my assignment on this earth is to encourage and help everyone in their life as much as I can and the only way I can help is by sharing my experiences and life lessons. So here it goes..
‘Self love’, ‘fall in love with you’, ‘love thyself’ they say. That’s what they all say. But how many of us actually do? I never really knew what self love was. From when I was 16 and I started to properly be interested in boys, I didn’t know what it felt like to love myself. Thus making very immature decisions based on what I thought was my idea of ‘worth’. I realised that you have to love on yourself so much first before you can allow someone to come into your life and love on you in the way they want to. You have to establish self love so that when it comes to times where you need comfort, by letting your own love and God’s love strengthen you, you won’t find yourself relying so much on the comfort of others. Because to be honest, you can’t rely on other people’s love as much as you can God’s. You HAVE to love yourself & allow God’s love to wrap around you!
I also learnt that you have to establish that strength in the love you have for yourself first because that’s one of the most important and reliable kinds of love.
That’s what I learnt about myself; growing up I didn’t develop self love, therefore it was hard for me to have confidence in myself, if I am honest, I had no idea of what confidence was, I thought it was in the approval of others and the compliments from others. I’ve only really realised this since meeting my now husband. When you start to love on others and get into friendships and relationships you realise how important self love is, THAT’S what sets the foundation.
Having love for yourself is that first brick into the cement of a strong foundation in relationships, friendships, life, in anything! Because having love for yourself and knowing your worth sets your mind somewhat on what is good for you and what isn’t.
(Disclaimer: Not saying that you must be completely self-centred and forget about everyone around you lool of course you must love on others like Jesus did!)
After reflecting, I realised that before I met my husband I went through some relationships that were a product of me not knowing the value of my worth, I just put up with nonsense, was treated anyhow and thought that it was ok to allow people that didn’t love me to rule me as if they did. It took me so long to realise how valuable I was. My foundation was rocky, I didn’t value myself because I didn’t have confidence in the person that I am today- in all honesty, up until now, I have no idea why I went through what I went through; I hated being haunted by my past, I was ashamed, I despised that I had such low confidence in myself that I was literally worthless in my own eyes. Even now when I think about it, I think about how important it is as a young women to be around people that build you up and don’t influence your insecurities. You have to begin to know your worth so that you can build up your knowledge on it and use it as a guideline to let you know how you deserve to be treated.
My encouragement to you ladies AND men, is to love on yourself so that you realise your worth more & more. How? you may ask? well, it’s what I had to do.
I had to come to the realisation that I AM beautiful no matter what anyone says, realise that I am worth something to ME.
Love the skin you are in, tell yourself positive affirmations daily and don’t wait on anyone else to tell you. There’s nothing better than self-proclamation, because you don’t need other people to let you know how amazing you are. Knowledge that the Almighty Creator decided to create YOU in such a beautiful and unique way should already be the best start to knowing how precious you are!
Don’t stand for silliness, you have a choice to remove things/people from your environment that may pollute your mind, or plant negativity of anything less than your value.
I’m currently still on that same journey of increasing my knowledge of self love and you know what? its beautiful! because I’m just simply learning to love me more and more each day. I feel like it’s a lifelong journey to fall involve with oneself again and again. I’m not being selfish, I’m not decreasing my love for other people, I’m still living my normal life! I’m just learning what loving me feels like!! Don’t let your limited knowledge of love for yourself blind you from being disrespected. Know your worth! Women AND men! Love yourself! Because you ARE amazing.